What I learned from knee surgery

Six weeks ago I had a total knee replacement - right leg. Being the semi intelligent and trained Nurse Practitioner that I am, I felt reasonably ready to take on this challenge. Never mind that obstetrics, gynecology and orthopedics are not only the areas in which I am least knowledgeable but also areas I really avoid. So what made me think I was ready for an orthopedic procedure???

In my independent survey of those who had previously had this surgery I found one pervasive line of comment. It goes something like this: look of horror on face, quickly followed by attempt to compensate with smile and then "It was the most painful thing I ever went through but I was glad I did it when it was over". Now that spurred me on to victory after about the 50th time but the crunch crush of my knee bones encouraged me onward, knowing that I wanted to continue to be able to walk and climb Amazon river banks. Now the real lessons began..............................

A total knee replacement amounts to letting someone cut your leg in half then expecting you be on your feet that very evening. "Some people are driving within two weeks". I clung to that thinking that if someone could do that in 14 days I could do it in 13. Did I remember those "the most pain I ever had " comments? Hospital two days - very little to remember except pain, lots of pretty flowers and plants and the faces (blurred) of dear friends.

Physical therapy began the very next day - not that I hadnt had physical torture in the hospital but this was a torture I had to get out of bed and travel 30 minutes each way for. The first day all I could do was get in the door then ask where they wanted me to lie down. That was not their plan but I think one look at me that first week told them that torture had brought me to their door and they might go easy on the rest. Did I mention the most pain ever part?

Additional lessons - I can survive being seen in public with African hair (curly with very little care) how else did I survive in Africa this year without daily hair product and a hair dryer! I can survive being seen on, yes, the walker! Yuck! It was still during the most pain days so who cared.

The seat elevation thing on the toilet that I fought against became my dear friend - hey any help is help when your knee is in control of your life.

Drugs are wonderful things! I have never had a reason to take narcotics and was pretty freaked at being on them more than a day or two. Forget it - those people who said the stuff about the most pain ever should add comments like, "Take all the drugs they will give you!"

Pain and narcotics are a good appetite suppressant. I'm down 25# and pray that the pounds don't find me again. I'm staying disguised as an invalid in order to hide.

Important lessons learned: My husband, Jack, is the most incredible man on earth. I already knew that but its a good lesson to be reminded of. He has been taxi, cook, hand and head holder, encourager, clown and done it all with love and such care that I know without a doubt - I would be in the ditch demanding not to go to physical therapy and wanting more drugs if he hadn't kept me straight!

Friends are amazing - wonderful food cooked and delivered, cards, phone calls, impromptu text messages, prayers and all the no longer blurry plants and faces. There is great comfort in those faces - blurred and clear.

Recommendations:
Do not put on wool socks and expect the offended leg to let you push it through the leg of sleep pants.
People do notice if you try to wear the same clothes three days - remember the pain thing - but husband kept me straight. Hey, I had done nothing but sleep and be in pain in the things. How could they get dirty. And getting the knee into new clothes is not your fav chore even after the worst pain days.

The floor is much further away than you think.

The bathroom at church is MUCH further away than remembered.

You can not carry hot tea while walking on a walker. Takes more prior planning that I managed.

Your walker will never go through a slim spot without hitting something no matter how hard you try.

and I was not driving in two weeks. In fact today is six weeks. I am told that Im healing 'a little on the slow side' possible due to other problems BUT for the first time I am feeling hopeful. Last night when I was brave enough to put pants on (jeans!) I was able to lift my right foot off the floor without holding it up - it was only about 1/2 inch but up is up. No more jeans by the way - knee says they arent comfortable and knee is ruling still.
I am also past the worst pain ever I think although I still prepare with firm determination before I face the physical torture people. I'm kinda learning to like them - must be time to be well!!!

So, when someone asks me, I will have to say its the most painful thing Ive ever done and perhaps by then I will get to the glad I did it part. Please, Jesus, please.................... Make this knee bend before I go stark raving mad in this house. I must perform some commercial exercise and consumer reconnaissance even in five minute segments. Until then.........Merry Christmas from she who is learning about the most pain ever. I am blessed - it is getting better and I have little to complain about.