What I learned from knee surgery

Six weeks ago I had a total knee replacement - right leg. Being the semi intelligent and trained Nurse Practitioner that I am, I felt reasonably ready to take on this challenge. Never mind that obstetrics, gynecology and orthopedics are not only the areas in which I am least knowledgeable but also areas I really avoid. So what made me think I was ready for an orthopedic procedure???

In my independent survey of those who had previously had this surgery I found one pervasive line of comment. It goes something like this: look of horror on face, quickly followed by attempt to compensate with smile and then "It was the most painful thing I ever went through but I was glad I did it when it was over". Now that spurred me on to victory after about the 50th time but the crunch crush of my knee bones encouraged me onward, knowing that I wanted to continue to be able to walk and climb Amazon river banks. Now the real lessons began..............................

A total knee replacement amounts to letting someone cut your leg in half then expecting you be on your feet that very evening. "Some people are driving within two weeks". I clung to that thinking that if someone could do that in 14 days I could do it in 13. Did I remember those "the most pain I ever had " comments? Hospital two days - very little to remember except pain, lots of pretty flowers and plants and the faces (blurred) of dear friends.

Physical therapy began the very next day - not that I hadnt had physical torture in the hospital but this was a torture I had to get out of bed and travel 30 minutes each way for. The first day all I could do was get in the door then ask where they wanted me to lie down. That was not their plan but I think one look at me that first week told them that torture had brought me to their door and they might go easy on the rest. Did I mention the most pain ever part?

Additional lessons - I can survive being seen in public with African hair (curly with very little care) how else did I survive in Africa this year without daily hair product and a hair dryer! I can survive being seen on, yes, the walker! Yuck! It was still during the most pain days so who cared.

The seat elevation thing on the toilet that I fought against became my dear friend - hey any help is help when your knee is in control of your life.

Drugs are wonderful things! I have never had a reason to take narcotics and was pretty freaked at being on them more than a day or two. Forget it - those people who said the stuff about the most pain ever should add comments like, "Take all the drugs they will give you!"

Pain and narcotics are a good appetite suppressant. I'm down 25# and pray that the pounds don't find me again. I'm staying disguised as an invalid in order to hide.

Important lessons learned: My husband, Jack, is the most incredible man on earth. I already knew that but its a good lesson to be reminded of. He has been taxi, cook, hand and head holder, encourager, clown and done it all with love and such care that I know without a doubt - I would be in the ditch demanding not to go to physical therapy and wanting more drugs if he hadn't kept me straight!

Friends are amazing - wonderful food cooked and delivered, cards, phone calls, impromptu text messages, prayers and all the no longer blurry plants and faces. There is great comfort in those faces - blurred and clear.

Recommendations:
Do not put on wool socks and expect the offended leg to let you push it through the leg of sleep pants.
People do notice if you try to wear the same clothes three days - remember the pain thing - but husband kept me straight. Hey, I had done nothing but sleep and be in pain in the things. How could they get dirty. And getting the knee into new clothes is not your fav chore even after the worst pain days.

The floor is much further away than you think.

The bathroom at church is MUCH further away than remembered.

You can not carry hot tea while walking on a walker. Takes more prior planning that I managed.

Your walker will never go through a slim spot without hitting something no matter how hard you try.

and I was not driving in two weeks. In fact today is six weeks. I am told that Im healing 'a little on the slow side' possible due to other problems BUT for the first time I am feeling hopeful. Last night when I was brave enough to put pants on (jeans!) I was able to lift my right foot off the floor without holding it up - it was only about 1/2 inch but up is up. No more jeans by the way - knee says they arent comfortable and knee is ruling still.
I am also past the worst pain ever I think although I still prepare with firm determination before I face the physical torture people. I'm kinda learning to like them - must be time to be well!!!

So, when someone asks me, I will have to say its the most painful thing Ive ever done and perhaps by then I will get to the glad I did it part. Please, Jesus, please.................... Make this knee bend before I go stark raving mad in this house. I must perform some commercial exercise and consumer reconnaissance even in five minute segments. Until then.........Merry Christmas from she who is learning about the most pain ever. I am blessed - it is getting better and I have little to complain about.

Somethings we will never understand

A few years ago a friend and I often sat before and after church and talked about our kids. Robin and her Alyssa, me and my Malcolm. We were so blessed to have our kids and we loved to brag about them and boast in the Lord about His blessings toward us. We had both lost children and that made these two even more precious. Today one of those "we will never understand' things happened. Robin's Alyssa had an automobile accident and was killed on her way to school. I read all the wonderful posts that are being written on Face Book and people are so kind and good and saying many wonderful true things about this precious Christian young woman and kind words and prayers for Kurt and Robin are going up everywhere. But right now I just want to hug my son and cry for their pain. They trust God, we trust God, we know He has a bigger plan than us, we know all that but the pain is more than I can imagine. Is this one of those 'God gives the grace things?' I really am overwhelmed with it all and I say to God - show them some part of Your plan, please, that good may come of this horrible thing, that they might have peace none of us can grasp and stand for one more moment and then one more and then one more. So I go now to stare at my son, he is asleep in his chair and I praise God for every moment of every day and pray that I never have to walk this path they face but please, Abba, touch my friend this moment and be her strength. Its more than I can grasp.

Africa 2010

There is a song that says "Africa, I came to change you but instead you changed me...." Never a truer word sung. We had the pleasure of making our first trip (I hope there will be more) to the continent of Africa in July. We were in southern Africa in the country of Zimbabwe. Beautiful, incredible people with open hearts eager to share the love of God and share their love with us. Our team spent a good bit of time in schools - we think we saw over 4,000 school children. Talk about falling in love. I have not really had the time or actually I dont think I have been ready yet to analyze exactly how the trip changed me but I know the time will come when God will reveal exactly what it is He wants me to carry in my heart from those days. In the meantime I will share some pictures with you and tell you that the love of Christ compels us to step out and share His name, His love and His salvation to the world He loved enough to create and sacrifice His son for. Whether its here or hours and hours away - For God so loved the world, He gave His one and only Son, that who so ever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.
And we ate goat....................................intestines....................................................!

My Favorite Vets saying good bye to Daddy

Anchors away...........

Thank you to all my fellow veterans and to the families who loved and supported us through those years. And of course to all those currently serving and your families - Thank You! We did not serve in vain, neither do you although the political types are making it hard to remember at times - better not to go there today. You don't want to hear me rant - do you????
I have great memories of those days and know that the work I did was important. From the Vietnamese refugees who taught me more than any school to the Marines who were full of shrapnel from the ordinance that shouldn't have gone off......... it was my honor to be there and serve. God bless each of you and God Bless the USA!

What was I thinking.........

What was I thinking when I just knew that getting out of school would give me all sorts of free time. NOT SO!!! Now one year past graduation - but only 7 months past boards and license - I am only starting to feel like I have the energy to be alive let alone tackle mountains and leap from tall buildings. But, I have gone to garage sales with my best friend, had a date night with my husband, done all the laundry and love my new role as a Nurse Practitioner. So maybe I am back to being alive - just still tired and alive.
God is good and His goodness extends to our weary times as well as our energetic. Please, Lord, can I ask for a few more energetic days ......or does He think I would abuse them........ kicking back ... Hope you are having a great Memorial Day weekend. I am loving living.